Why you need a "no-person"
We’ve seen this cartoon or comedy many times. A stereotypically bad executive is surrounded by “yes-people” who agree with every suggestion or assertion, however absurd. You might not be surrounded by yes-people. But do you have a no-person?
Even if your employees aren’t reflexive yes-persons, they may be avoiding saying no to you. They may hesitate to raise a concern, issue, or criticism that challenges your thinking. The result is the same as having a yes-person: you make a poor decision.
Usually, this isn’t due to an intellectual issue – it’s an emotional one. People hesitate to disagree with a leader, or give the false appearance of agreement, because of their feelings, not their thoughts. In fact, people may not even realize they are doing it, which is why leaders need to be alert to the possibility.
Motivational psychology points to three core motivations that we all have, and which influence roughly 85% of our decisions and actions on a daily basis. [1] (For more on core motivations, see our post, “How Top Leaders Navigate Change.”) There are three simple categories of emotional focus involved here, each of which can function as positive or negative:
Improvement focus:
Assuming a similar thought process: “The boss knows more than me – must have already found a way around it.”
Perceived lack of information: “I don’t know enough myself to criticize this suggestion.”
Relationship focus:
Trusting the boss as a person: “I like and trust my boss; I’ll assume they’re right.”
Avoiding conflict: “I don’t want to make my boss feel bad.”
Influence and impact focus:
Respect for the boss: “My boss is the big power here.”
Fear of power: “If I disagree with the boss, I’m in trouble.”
A leader’s idea may fail not only because their direct reports are afraid to speak up, but also because the employees think so highly of the leader that they withhold their comment or criticism. This, too, can reach absurd levels; I have seen someone give negative feedback so kindly – surrounding the core criticism with positive fluff and softening the message to incomprehensibility - that the recipient thought it was positive feedback!
If you’re a bad leader, they’re afraid to comment; if you’re a good leader, they may trust you too much. Heads you lose, tails you win – and still lose. What can you do?
Our answer: hardwire learning into your day, using processes to provide you with ongoing input and feedback - and the occasional “no.” Here’s how:
Organizational structure: create requirements for yourself by building a structure that forces them. One founder CEO built a private conference room between his office and his COO’s office. They agreed that, if either entered with an issue, the other had to come in and resolve the issue by consensus They could fight all they wanted in private, but they were required to come out with a common vision. Note that the CEO was obligated to respond to his direct report when they were in conflict. Setting up formal spaces or forums for challenging and learning yourself means you don’t have to work at doing so.
Team process/culture: Create an environment where diverse opinions can thrive. For example, invite input before offering your idea, so people don't worry about contradicting you. Inviting others to comment first, or letting everyone offer them anonymously (e.g., with notes), can encourage others to speak up. Praising them for doing so – regardless of the quality of the answer – reinforces it. Providing public praise for someone who proves you wrong, helps people feel safe to do so.
Person selection: Hire people who have strong ability but are different from you, so they come from a different perspective – true diversity. You don’t have to like people to respect them and work with them. It helps to have objective assessment and hiring processes to avoid even unconscious bias here. When supported by the team process, culture, and structure, they will provide distinctive perspective for years to come.[2]
These structures, processes, and people will create a true learning environment, not just for you, but for your organization, too. Sometimes a “no” gets you where you really want to go.
Resources:
[1]These are based on the three main implicit motives, known as the “Three Social Motives:” Achievement, Affiliation, and Influence, respectively. We’ve written more about them, here.
[2] See our discussion of assessment, here.